Parental Fitness Exams

We have much to catch up on, but first and foremost let me discuss Parental Fitness Exams. Before my husband and I had to have our mental capacity for parenting tested by a psychologist, I did a lot of research on PFE's, and there isn't very much information about what it is, how it work, and the results. Let me start with the process:

1. If the state requires you to complete a parental fitness exam as part of your "safety plan" they will pay for it, which is great because they cost on average about $2500 a piece, the not so great part is that you have to use THEIR psychologist.

2. You make an appointment that you can complete all in one shot, which is what we did, or you can break it up into multiple sections, but you are on their time, so be cautious of deadlines.

3. When you go in for the testing portion it takes around 5 to 6 hours give or take how quickly you can read, comprehend, and circle the little Scranton bubbles.

4. After your completion of the written portion, you will be interviewed by the psychologist. This lasts anywhere from 30 min if your past is very simple to about 2 hours if your have a checkered past.

5. Next there will be an interview with the social worker. They speak of their concerns, and how you were referred to DCFS ect.

6. They will supposedly go through medical records, psych evals, or whatever has landed you in the hot seat.

7. FINALLY, the results! They will be sent to your caseworker, the AAG, GAL, and your attorneys.

My experience:

I will share with you information from my test results, but first let me speak of the whole ordeal. I went to the initial appointment for the written psychological testing. Mind you, the Great State of Utah has hired me as a psychological technician, and my job in short is providing treatment to the mentally ill, and run the unit, as well as ensuring that patients are abiding by their treatment plan essentially. So having to take a psychological evaluation to begin with is very ironic.

Let me start out by saying that this does not go for every psychologist, but as far as mine goes, the results of the exam were predetermined it seemed like. He had an idea about who we were, he knew the gist of the situation, and of course he has to disclose that he does not create any biases, but from what I gathered, that is exactly what occurred.

My Evaluation of the Psychologist  :

When I walked into the office, the psychologist was very standoffish, strait forward, and to the point. These are qualities that I can respect, however, although he fit my style of psychologist, he seemed as though he already had made up his mind about my husband and I. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he probably sees families just like mine who are pleading not guilty, and obviously we have been questioned about our ability to parent, therefore how can he not be a little bias.

Anyways, he gives us the written test, and that was all. Nothing further at that point. I go into the interview, and he sits in his chair and sets a tense atmosphere. He asks me questions about my childhood, my adult life, if I have ever had any criminal offenses, drug and alcohol use, ect. He does not ask that I elaborate on anything which I find odd for a psychologist. He did not go into detail about my children, he did not ask about my current state of mind when it comes to dealing with all of these issues, he didn't ask about coping mechanisms, and it was a very odd dynamic.

The manner in which he presented himself was irritated, and standoffish. He did not attempt to dig further into the psychological aspects of anything. He mostly based his opinion off of the written test results. When the results were sent to myself and my husband.... I was appalled, embarrassed, and frustrated. He made it seem as though I am about 20 different personalities all in one person. My husbands had different characteristics, but some parts almost seem copy and pasted. It was a lazy review, and incomplete. This was not an observational exam, it was not an exam that examines your mental capacity, there really aren't any wrong answers, but what it is was a slaying of our character. If you read between the lines it looks as though I am a disciplined, responsible, go-getter, BUT here is how he put it:

Results (these are strait from the report, and his exact words):

The results of Sydney's profile are valid and suggest that she has some somatic complaints.  She also tends to be dissatisfied, unhappy, and critical.  In addition, she can be pessimistic, immature, whiny, and demanding.  She can also be self-centered, suggestible, and affiliative, and denial may be one of her defense mechanisms. 

Sydney tends to be dissatisfied with her life situation and she can be introverted and withdrawn, even though her test results suggest that she is reasonably outgoing by nature.  She also has a restricted range of interests and she lacks self-confidence.  In addition, she is overly-sensitive, guarded, and distrustful, and she can be angry and resentful.  In addition, she is anxious, tense, and uncomfortable, and she tends to be insecure and lacking in self-confidence.  She can also be meticulous and indecisive.  

Now being the perfectionist I am let me over analyze this analysis:

Lets point out "denial may be one of her defense mechanisms." I saw this one coming from a mile away. I knew somehow someway this would be incorporated in order to try and make me seem as though I must be in denial about the whole situation. Typical blanket comment that comes from the state, the GAL must have said this about 5 times in our last hearing.

"Sydney seems to be dissatisfied with her life..." Do I? Do I really? I LOVE my life, I think I have it made because I worked my butt off, however, yes, I am dissatisfied that I am currently taking a parental fitness exam. Anxious? Uncomfortable? Distrustful? I am rolling with this statement! Again, if you feel comfortable visiting with someone who holds the key to your future, and any wrong step, hell, any right step, your screwed, but if that doesn't make you uncomfortable in the least, then please contact me and tell me what you are doing! Okay so here's where he goes completely contradictory... I am observed to be overly sensitive, and lack self confidence, but let us scroll down to more of his review...

Again from the horses mouth:

"Sydney prefers a highly structured and strictly organized life.  She tends to be austere and serious-minded, and she demonstrates a drive to keep her emotions in check.  She may speak very precisely and dress in a very formal and proper way, and efforts of perfectionism may limit alternatives and may make ordinary tasks difficult for her to complete.  She also has a reliable self-image and she sees herself as being efficient, disciplined, meticulous, and industrious.  She is devoted to work and devoted to meeting responsibilities, and she may minimize the importance of recreational and leisure activities.  She is fearful of being viewed as irresponsible and as someone who fails to meet the expectations of others, or as someone who is error-prone.  She may over-value discipline, perfection, prudence, and loyalty."

Now here we go! Highly structured, organized, serious minded..... Since when are having goals, ambitions, and setting the bar high considered negative characteristics of any person! I am especially in love with the way he says that because I dress nice, and speak precisely I am such a perfectionist that I am unable to complete the simplest of tasks.... What?

Now I am not expert, but that just seems to be a dig, and a bit of a reach don't you think? So in addition to all of the judgement passed, the report was very contradictory. In the interview portion make sure you are WAY more precise than I was. For instance if you say to this psychologist, "I have had issues with depression in the past, but I am on medication, and it is being handled appropriately." you will read in your report, "Jane Doe has had depression issues in the past, she should be monitored for suicidal tendencies although she has denied having ever attempted or thought about suicide in the past."

Although there are many other parts of the evaluation I can pick apart, the following is one is in the running as one of my favorite. At the end of the question/answer portion with DCFS, this little gem was noted:

(It is worth noting that the document sent to the examiner was not signed by any of the treating physicians.  The examiner has no way to verify the authenticity of the note other than assuming that it is legitimate because it was sent to the examiner by DCFS.).   

Yes, assume! Assuming is clearly the most accurate ways of verify anything. Assuming is the whole basis upon which the juvenile justice system is based upon it seems.

In Conclusion:

Thank you for sticking with me! Lots of information, and 12 pages worth of report utilizing every negative adjective in the book. If you can financially afford to front the money to hire your own psychologist to get this done, DO NOT HESITATE! Theoretically, the professional is supposed to do a typical therapy session, and they are also supposed to watch you and your kids, and your interactions with each other, which in my case was not done. It is important that they do this, that way when your caseworker emphasizes on the negative, you have something factual to rely on. The presents to the judge an illusion. They present only part of the story, the only part that makes their side look stronger than it truly is. 

If you are going through, or are about to go through this process, and you have any specific question, I encourage you to contact me, and I can be much more specific. One of the main things I wish that everyone can get out of this is that a parental fitness exam is an expert, you, and 5 hours of testing. How can anyone on this planet get to know your whole life and personality from a test? If anything, it should terrify you that this is their best solution for determining whether you are a fit parent. 

After reading the whole evaluation it seems as though I am an unfit mother because I am educated, professional, care about my children, and posses many qualities that would be beneficial to being a parent, and for that I was scrutinized for. NOW, is that just me? or is that my assumed self-centered and narcissistic personality traits? (Que Twilight Zone themed music.) DUN DUN DUN......